So I’m behind in posting this week. I didn’t plan things well and scheduled car maintenance appointments right at the exact time I’ve reserved for writing. Why did I do this? Why do I seem to do things in direct OPPOSITE of my well laid plans?

Is it just me or do you find yourself doing the same at times?

It sneaks up on me usually. I’ve planned it all out, made sure I reserved time for running the errands, making the appointments, doing all the obligations for the family, getting work for the job done. Then POOF! Something unexpected happens and I’m thrown off my game plan. I’m a planner/organizer type so this type of monkey wrench being thrown at me makes me react…well…not so great. I’m finding this pattern follows me at times.

• Great plans to workout more, get up earlier—then sleep through the alarm clock.
• Promise myself to eat better and make menus, grocery lists. Then in the midst of it, find myself sneaking in a few Pringles.
• I will STOP reacting so quickly when the kids do something that makes me want to scream. Then OUCH…my anger levels are on the rise with the next snarky comment from my preteen and I feel myself going to an ugly place.

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I am proud to say I’m better than I used to be at this: I used to scream back in frustration much quicker.  Now I can count to 10 first before I let the screaming maniac peek her ugly head out. I now catch that screamer a little faster and tuck her away—and make myself breathe. Okay, not always am I successful with this—but an improvement over the past.

But I know better and make promises to myself to not be that unorganized, frustrated maniac any more.  Then it happens and I’m right back where I started. WHY oh WHY do I seem to repeat this pattern?

• I’m sure the other moms are reacting with loving words and the children obey and they hold hands skipping off into the sunset, right?
• The other wives are so supportive and encouraging that they never speak a sarcastic word to their husbands about not doing that ONE chore you’ve asked at least a thousand times. They just praise him for being who he is and let all those frustrations become a blessing somehow, right? Never a frustrated or angry thought….

Well…not me. I’m all those ugly things at times. Not pretty. Not proud. But it’s real life for me.

Is any of this familiar to you too? Ever find yourself doing what you DON’T want to do? Thinking or saying what you definitely do NOT want to? Then angry with yourself for blowing it…again?

I remind myself that we live in an ‘opposite’ world as believers. The world is many times opposite what the Father intended. Many humans are behaving in an opposite way they were intended (don’t let me get started with politics!).

We, as believers, many times react or speak in ways opposite what we should. Is every word we say honoring or Christ modeling? No way. Should it be? Of course! We are works in progress in an opposite world.
I find similar wrestling in the bible. Paul mentions this in Romans (see below). I’m so encouraged and happy to know we are all walking this journey together. We have a loving guide on this journey and we are in a continual state of learning, living and receiving grace.

Thank you for taking a moment of your walk on this journey with me. If we run into each other, would you remind me that we’re in this together and can lean on each other in this opposite world?

Thank you Father for your grace in this opposite world and for your guidance in our daily walk.  I pray we each have other believers along our path to encourage and support us.

¹⁹ When I want to do good, I don’t; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. 20 Now if I am doing what I don’t want to, it is plain where the trouble is: sin still has me in its evil grasp. (Romans 7:19, Living Bible)

¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.     ( 1 Thessalonians 5:11,New International Version)